my big brother

lawrence p.b.

I was the age of 5 when my big brother was adopted in court. I was 5 and I had to go to court to listen to what my parents were talking about. I had no idea of what they were talking about since I was 5 years old. My big brother was sitting by me to keep me from crying to my mom. He was always one year older than me. Me and my family were brought to court by my step mom.

My big brother’s name is Addam, Little Addam. We call him Little Addam since my dad is BIg Addam. We were living in a two story home with one bathroom, a small kitchen, small living room, a good back yard that you could play a little game of football or wall ball on. I went to York where I had to go to school. When I was going to that school he was going to another school.  When he was home with us all we are doing was just playing as long as possible.

I was the only kid in the house since my big brother left us. He doesn't know that we moved to a different house. My step-mom is in a different town. We are not allowed to see and talk to him until he is 18. I was all alone at the house since my dad and mom were always doing their jobs or working in the garden that we had. That is why I had to do something by myself. I decided that since we have a tv and a Playstation that I could figure out how to work those. I was the one kid in the world that had to experience what I had to go through. I was feeling all lonely and was crying. I was not feeling like the world was real to me.

When Kennedy was born I know that I have to be a big brother that he can look up to for the rest of his life and mine to live through. I’m trying to give my brothers what I never had for the last 10 years. I thought like I was now my big brother by trying to play with them. By trying not think about him around my brothers since they don’t know what they don’t know about the whole story. My two littles brothers are 8 years old his name is Kennedy and 6  years old his name is Maverick. I want them to have that one big brother that can always be there to help them all the time to help them. I have been taking my grief for way to long. I have be there for the family that I have left to take care of.

Any ways, I talk about Little Addam  at school and to everyone I can trust. Every time I talk about him it makes me sad to think about him. I try to forget what happened by doing a sport or having fun. I don’t like to talk to anyone at the new school about him. I only told the people at my old school since I was there through 2-8 grade. The people that were there cared about me by asking what was wrong.  I knew I had to get rid of the grief that my big brother was gone.

My mom has facebook and she looks my stepmom up every time I want to see what he looks like.  I asked about him to see what he looks like. He is now 16 and has more muscle than me. He has started to look like my dad. He is shorter than me.  He still lives in Colorado, in Bennet. His mom works for a fire department in Bennet. She has two little daughters. Her daughters are 13 years old and the other looks like she is 5 years old. She is a single mom with three kids.

I wonder if he is always thinking of my mom, dad, and me. I hope is doing what he wants to do with his life.  I always feel sad that I won’t see him. I know that he is a lot stronger than me but I’m taller than him by 2 inches.  All that has happened in my life was by what happened in the past know leads to me in a new house, a new school, learning more, have a new start that I wanted to have for a long time.  I’m trying to give my brothers what I never had for the last 10 years. Once he is 18 I would love to touch base with him. I also want to know how he has been everyday since he left us. I think he would like to know that he has 2 little brothers.