lost in the work

When we went to grandpa's house it was always a treat, because we worked hard mowing the lawn and pulling weeds till our hands and legs were covered with cuts from the grass, and that taught us something that nothing could compare to. When we were done we would go on the ATVs and just race around outside the house with the yard full of holes and hills like an unfinished quilt and we were the thread rushing to finish it. Then we would go down to the creek and just look at the blood red sky as the sun set for so long till we needed lights to get home or we would jump into the ice cold water to sooth our blisters and our cuts from working under the hot sun beating us with rays of heat till we sweat and practically ruin our shirts.

When we went to my grandpa’s house it was a nightmare come true, that we all knew would come one day but didn’t want to think about. He wasn’t a perfect person i know that but none of us are really so yes he and I had a close bond. He taught me to drive and fish and everything i needed from life lessons to work. When i saw him with an oxygen tank strapping him to the ground like a giant weight restricting his every move, i wanted to hug him but was scared he was fragile and i could break something.

When we went to my grandpa’s house it was a nightmare come true, that we all knew would come one day but didn’t want to think about. Everyone was wearing nice clothes coming back from the memorial I just didn’t want to believe it but i had to and I still can’t imagine the man gone and out of everyone's life. it was qui and i hated it, all i could do was look at the old pictures under the glass cover of the dining table with one seat in it. I couldn't do it and i had to leave so i ran outside of the house to the porch and to my surprise no one followed and as i looked out to the creek and the woods i heard sounds of animals and that made me realize that he’s happy there and life goes on without him and if I stop to be sad or emotional I’ll fall and get left behind.